There are a variety of services that cater to women during divorce. The Second Saturday Divorce Workshop is a good example. This is mainly due to the likelihood that the man has handled the finances during the marriage. But this is not always the case and men can struggle to find the help they need.

Even if you did handle your family finances during marriage, you still need to be sure you understand the complexities of your financial and legal options. In my experience working with men in divorce, there are some common mistakes to avoid that could ultimately save you money.

Thinking that the assets are all yours because YOUR WIFE didn’t work.

If you have been married for a long time and your wife was a housewife with children during the marriage, you must realize that she worked hard too. You built your assets as a team and you each deserve your fair share, even if you asked your wife for years to get a job and she decided not to.

Refusing to give up retirement assets.

Often, men get emotionally attached to pensions and retirement plans and will seek to negotiate a settlement that lets them keep those assets. Consider, however, that both pensions and retirement assets are taxable income when you receive them. If you are earning a lot more money than your spouse for most of your life, chances are you will always be in a higher tax bracket than her. Take advantage of this fact and give her the settlement in retirement assets adjusted for her tax rate instead of yours.  This strategy can save couples tens of thousands of dollars in taxes and they get to share in the benefit.

Don’t be a bully.

Fear sometimes shows up in divorce negotiations as anger. Often, men make the mistake of thinking that being angry will somehow help the situation. The reality is you’re BOTH scared. Make sure that you work with a CDFA, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, that will incorporate future financial planning into your settlement negotiations so that everyone’s concerns can be addressed fairly.

Failing to ask For Help.

Realize that you don’t know what you don’t know. Men are often motivated by saving money and will attempt a do-it-yourself divorce and draw up their own paperwork. This is not a good idea. There are so many details, both financial and legal, to the divorce process that you will save thousands of dollars by making sure that you cover all the bases.

At Wiser Divorce Solutions, we want to help EVERYONE in the divorce process to have a less stressful divorce.